10/11/2003 Georgetown, Grand Cayman B.W.I.

The right Honourable Prime Minister declared a day of no diving in
Grand Cayman in memory of the tragic loss of a Scuba Diver's right arm
while diving the reefs of SoFla...

A particularly toothy diver (with a familiar set to his pectoral fins
and a curiously undershot jaw) was heard protesting:

"This is an OUTRAGE. We've been stuck in Little Cayman on the CA IV all
week. To make matters worse, the early arrival of all clients and the sea
conditions FORCED the CA IV to transit to LC Saturday night without so much
as ONE dive on Grand Cayman. Imagine our chagrin when the too-young hippie
that was supposed to be our cook turned out to be a 5-star chef! I've been
diving liveaboards for years and I have *never* been subjected to such food.
With almost no wind and flat seas the heat outside our air conditioned yacht
was unbearable. It was all we could do to Eat, Sleep, and Dive. Being stuck
there ALL WEEK, we had to dive everything there, and The Tibbets on Brac.
We had no choice at all.

If that isn't bad enough, upon our return to GC, we woke up to find
ourselves at Babylon, way out on the NE where nobody ever dives. After
that were forced to dive Tarpon Alley which was all but ruined by
interfering flights of Eagle Rays. In between, the boat stopped at
Stingray City, which we hate, so we had to spend an hour diving the
breakwater with a six foot Green Moray that was BLIND and dedicated
to finding divers by feel.

I don't care about those idiotic SoFla Strokes. Serve's 'em right if
ya ask me! What's the big deal? I hear the victim was a Californicator
anyway. He prolly voted fer that Arnold Shriver fella.

You're cutting us off after we've only had 25 dives this week and...er,

Is that tape recorder *on*?

ahem.

This is an OUTRAGE! One day is not enough! You Caymanians really should
have more respect for your fellow divers. I know you're Caymanians and it
has been decades since you wiped your own a.ses, or sh.t anything except
laundered money, but do you have any idea how hard it is to wipe your a.s left
handed? This diver is a lawyer! It will take months of physical therapy just
to get his fingers un-crossed! Think of the problems. Can you steal candy from
babies with your fingers in that condition? How will he support himself?

It's a tragedy, that's what it is.."

safe diving,

bullshark

The preceding text was a complete fabrication. Any similarity to real
persons, places or events is totally intentional.

There are two kinds of people in the world. Those that Dive with Greg,
and those that missed out on what sounds like a good week in SoFla.