1. FDR is often misquoted; what he actually said was, "There is nothing to
fear but Sarah Palin herself."

2. Sarah Palin can make Republicans excited about John McCain.

3. Sarah Palin can turn gay men straight just by smiling.

4. Unlike Barack Obama, Sarah Palin is her own teleprompter.

5. Side effects may include coughing, runny nose, nausea, vomiting, cramps,
and getting punched in the face by Sarah Palin.

6. Sarah Palin can cook a whole turkey in her EasyBake oven.

7. In 2003, the US considered deploying Sarah Palin to Iraq as a 1-woman
commando squad, but wanted to make it a fair fight.

8. Sarah Palin is really Sarah Connor, mother of John.

9. Sarah Palin doesn't need a gun to hunt. She has been known to throw a
bullet through an adult bull elk.

10. All your base are belong to Sarah Palin.

11. Sarah Palin can divide by zero.

12. Sarah Palin wears three-quarter length sleeves to keep from getting
blood on her clothes when she kills liberals.

13. It's not over until Sarah Palin says it's over.

14. Sarah Palin's hand is the only one that can beat a Royal Flush.

15. Sarah Palin catches salmon swimming upstream with her teeth for fun.

16. Sarah Palin was kicked off Survivor for killing a man and eating his
entrails.

17. Sarah Palin once held off a Russian invasion of Alaska with only a
bottle of vodka and a hockey stick.

18. While Sarah Palin is impervious to nuclear weapons, she's still worried
about the rest of us.

19. Sarah Palin drives herself to work every day - in an M1A1 tank.

20. Apple pays Sarah Palin 99 cents every time she listens to a song.

21. Sarah Palin once carved a perfect likeness of the Mona Lisa in a block
of ice using only her teeth.

22. Those aren't glasses on Sarah Palin's face. They are a protection for
all of us from getting lost in her eyes.

23. Sarah Palin wasn't allowed to wield the gavel at the convention because
they were afraid she'd use it to kill liberals.

24. Sarah Palin once won a competitive eating contest by devouring three
live caribou.

25. Sarah Palin counted to infinity – twice.

________________________________
It is useless for sheep to pass resolutions in favor of
vegetarianism while wolves remain of a different opinion.
WILLIAM RALPH INGE, D. D. 1860-1954