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Scuba Forum / General / January 2004To other instructors
Ok. A buddy of mine just got his instructor rating (I'm an instructor too). Seems his girlfriend/soon-to-be-fiance is giving him grief over something which I thought was insane - but in the spirit of not jumping to conclusions - I thought I'd see what other instructors here had to say. Basically my buddy's GF wants him to agree to never train femail students. She says she trusts him 100% - it's the women that she doesn't trust. She says a big part of that is because she's afraid to dive and will never get trained and so is insecure that he'll find someone who is into diving etc. etc. etc. (all this while she also agrees that he has never given her any cause for distrust or done anything to make her feel insecure) Now we can get into all kinds of discussion about how that's really an indicator that she doesn't trust him and so forth - and I think a majority of us would find some even ground on that... but that's not what I'm here to find out. Now his response to her was that he had no intention of being the only instructor on the planet to not train females just because his GF was jealous and insecure... she of course challenged him on that ... "How do you know that this isn't a common concern?" That brings me to you good people. I am simply wondering... has anyone else had this problem or have had instructor friends with this problem? Dave > Now his response to her was that he had no intention of being the > only instructor on the planet to not train females just because [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > I am simply wondering... has anyone else had this problem or have > had instructor friends with this problem? Yes, a former instructor in my dive club had the same problem with his partner. And I thought he was the only one in the world.... :-O  SignatureDavid Scarlett dscarlett@_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ optusnet.com.au > Ok. > A buddy of mine just got his instructor rating (I'm an instructor too). [quoted text clipped - 22 lines] > > Dave well, my buddy isn't exactly 'forbidden' from haveing female students BUT his wife comes along on all the lessons :) > > Ok. > > A buddy of mine just got his instructor rating (I'm an instructor too). [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] > well, my buddy isn't exactly 'forbidden' from haveing female students > BUT his wife comes along on all the lessons :) my main instructor didn't have to worry, his GF was one of the other instructors at the diveshop. rhys > "James Connell" <jconnell@gci.net> wrote in message <snip> >>well, my buddy isn't exactly 'forbidden' from haveing female students >>BUT his wife comes along on all the lessons :) [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > rhys well my buddies wife likes to swim during the pool sessions - only thing is she only wears fins to do it. causes a lot of air consumption problems with the male students but he sure gets a lot of referals!! > well my buddies wife likes to swim during the pool sessions - only thing > is she only wears fins to do it. causes a lot of air consumption Really? Only fins, and no swimsuit? I think I may need to take a refresher course - which shop do I need to go to :-)? -Eric > > well, my buddy isn't exactly 'forbidden' from haveing female students > > BUT his wife comes along on all the lessons :) > my main instructor didn't have to worry, his GF was one of the other > instructors at the diveshop. And this makes a difference how? Kimber SignatureCharacter cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved. Helen Keller > > > well, my buddy isn't exactly 'forbidden' from haveing female students > > > BUT his wife comes along on all the lessons :) [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > Kimber She was usually along on the trips with another group. But then again, they both seem yo have a lot more confidance in each other than Brewie and his GF. rhys Really? Isn't that sort of embarassing for him? How does he explan her presence? Classroom/pool/ and open water? > > Ok. > > A buddy of mine just got his instructor rating (I'm an instructor too). [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] > well, my buddy isn't exactly 'forbidden' from haveing female students > BUT his wife comes along on all the lessons :) > Really? > Isn't that sort of embarassing for him? > How does he explan her presence? Classroom/pool/ and open water? "divemaster in training" ;) > > Really? > > Isn't that sort of embarassing for him? > > How does he explan her presence? Classroom/pool/ and open water? > > "divemaster in training" ;) rec.nude poster? rhys >>>Really? >>>Isn't that sort of embarassing for him? [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > rhys i beleive he's posted a few. he really doesn't care for usenet much - thinks it's a waste of time. his wife is a little wild, he married a fiji girl, it took him 2 years just to get her to put a top on when she was in the yard - it did much for the amount of yard work done in his neiborhood!! he sends me a lot of shots (and stories) from the dive classes. but i have to dump them before my fillipina wife see's them or life gets difficult. > >>>Really? > >>>Isn't that sort of embarassing for him? [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > but i have to dump them before my fillipina wife see's them or life gets > difficult. send them to me :) rhys > Basically my buddy's GF wants him to agree to never train femail > students. > She says she trusts him 100% . . . She's lying. > . . . - it's the women that she doesn't trust. It takes two to tango. > She says a big part of that is because she's afraid to dive and will never > get trained . . . He's not the one that is suspect. I've known a lot of people that were afraid to dive, but overcame their fear in order to share the sport with a loved one. She could too, if she cared as much about him as she does about her own desires. Time to move on to a new girl friend, perhaps one met during one of those forbidden classes. Lee > > . . . - it's the women that she doesn't trust. > > It takes two to tango. That's exactly what he says... that he just wouldn't go for it so it should be a moot point. > > She says a big part of that is because she's afraid to dive and will never > > get trained . . . [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > loved one. She could too, if she cared as much about him as she does about > her own desires. Well he has said that, once or twice to make a point - she's always countered with if he loved her he would just abide by this request. > Time to move on to a new girl friend, perhaps one met during one of those > forbidden classes. ;-) Now wouldn't that be ironic? "David Brewster" <punky_NO_SPAM@interlog.com> wrote in message news:obdKb.8254 > > It takes two to tango. > That's exactly what he says... that he just wouldn't go for it so it should > be a moot point. He says that now - but picture this -- 5 years from now they are married with 1.2 kids - she nags and nags him because he is always gone diving -- some hot young thing comes along who is taking advanced classes from him -- she shares his passion of diving -- they hang out -- one thing leads to another and the hot wife at home suddenly isn't looking so great. > Well he has said that, once or twice to make a point - she's always > countered with if he loved her he would just abide by this request. That is such bullshit. Kimber SignatureBetter be wise by the misfortunes of others than by your own. Aesop > > He's not the one that is suspect. I've known a lot of people that were > > afraid to dive, but overcame their fear in order to share the sport with a > > loved one. She could too, if she cared as much about him as she does > > about her own desires. > Well he has said that, once or twice to make a point - she's always > countered with if he loved her he would just abide by this request. There's a saying about love being like a butterfly, about setting it free and, if it returns, it's yours forever. If it does not return, it never was yours. Your friend, and his girlfriend, need to move on. Their relationship should not last and can not without somebody changing more than anybody should be expected to. Lee "Lee Bell" <leebell@ix.remove.netcom.com> wrote in message news:<zReKb.9828 > There's a saying about love being like a butterfly, about setting it free > and, if it returns, it's yours forever. If it does not return, it never was > yours. I never figured you for a romantic. -- If you love it, set it free, and if it doesn't return, hunt it down and kill it. > Ok. > A buddy of mine just got his instructor rating (I'm an instructor too). > Seems his girlfriend/soon-to-be-fiance is giving him grief over something > which I thought was insane - but in the spirit of not jumping to > conclusions - I thought I'd see what other instructors here had to say. (snip) I'm not an instructor and I'm not a male. However, it seems to me there's no question that the girlfriend is insecure. That said, there must be more causing her insecurity than just this diving issue. If she was really smart, she'd be figuring out other ways to improve her relationship with him rather than trying to set up ridiculous restrictions for him. But speaking strictly as a diver . . . yeah, she should be worried. (wg) > > Ok. > > A buddy of mine just got his instructor rating (I'm an instructor too). [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > > But speaking strictly as a diver . . . yeah, she should be worried. (wg) Well according to her (this is according to her not him), he does absoluetly nothing to warrent those insecurities. She has nothing but great things to say about him and says he's perfect (to his modest embarassment). he's tried to figure out what he can do more (by asking her) to help with the insecurities but she just ays he does everything right and there's nothing more to improve on. He's really desperate to make it work out with this girl, but obviously this has to be fixed first. Admitingly he finds her incredibly attractive (http://www.punksoft.com/Desktop.jpg) so perhaps his judgement is clouded but she can be exceptionally sweet to him and really tries to take care of him and keep him happy. But that's a good point you brought up... she should figure out something rather than putting on rediculous restrictions. What does (wg) stand for? In article <i85Kb.1181$fy01.481@twister01.bloor.is.net.cable.rogers.com>, David Brewster <punky_NO_SPAM@interlog.com> wrote: >What does (wg) stand for? <g> - grin <eg> - evil grin <wg> - wide grin <weg> - wide, evil grin > In article > <i85Kb.1181$fy01.481@twister01.bloor.is.net.cable.rogers.com>, David [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > <wg> - wide grin > <weg> - wide, evil grin In my case, it equals "wicked grin" > > In article > > <i85Kb.1181$fy01.481@twister01.bloor.is.net.cable.rogers.com>, David [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > > In my case, it equals "wicked grin" Same here, why would I need a wide grin when an evilone does just as well. rhys > > > In article > > > <i85Kb.1181$fy01.481@twister01.bloor.is.net.cable.rogers.com>, David [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > > Same here, why would I need a wide grin when an evilone does just as well. a wicked one is so much over an evil grin. > Well according to her (this is according to her not him), he does absoluetly > nothing to warrent those insecurities. She has nothing but great things to [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > But that's a good point you brought up... she should figure out something > rather than putting on rediculous restrictions. Gee. Your friend's girlfriend looks a lot like your girlfriend. Anyway, just for kicks go tell your LDS...err, your "friend" should go tell the LDS he wants to work for that he can only teach males. See how well that goes over. Brian Edmonton, Alberta www.mossmanscubaventures.com > Gee. Your friend's girlfriend looks a lot like your girlfriend. ;-) > Anyway, just for kicks go tell your LDS...err, your "friend" should go > tell the LDS he wants to work for that he can only teach males. See how > well that goes over. He asked her if he did that what would she say... she was fine with that. Figures. > > Anyway, just for kicks go tell your LDS...err, your "friend" should go > > tell the LDS he wants to work for that he can only teach males. See how > > well that goes over. > > He asked her if he did that what would she say... she was fine with that. > Figures. Can she afford to and is she willing to support them both? Can he live with that? Lee > Well according to her (this is according to her not him), he does absoluetly > nothing to warrent those insecurities. She has nothing but great things to [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > but she can be exceptionally sweet to him and really tries to take care of > him and keep him happy. David, those are the same pictures you showed us of *your* girlfriend around the time you first showed up here. > But that's a good point you brought up... she should figure out something > rather than putting on rediculous restrictions. Seems to me the guy should start thinking with his big head instead of his little one. If all you say is true, life isn't going to get any easier. If it's not scuba, it will be something else. > What does (wg) stand for? wg = wicked grin > Seems to me the guy should start thinking with his big head instead of his > little one. If all you say is true, life isn't going to get any easier. If > it's not scuba, it will be something else. His big head agrees with you - right now though his big head is out-gunned by the litle head and his heart. > Ok. > A buddy of mine just got his instructor rating (I'm an instructor too). [quoted text clipped - 22 lines] > > Dave It does sound like she is a bit insecure, however, the argument it not worth it from her very own words of "100% in him" she does not realy believe this. What she realy is saying is: I have 100% trust in you, but if another woman is interested in you, I dont trust you. She realy needs to look at herself, and try to figure out what is going on, and true, if she realy is not into diving, and he is, well, a chance does exists with him meeting a diving female, although, this chance is the same as: Does he trust her to go to work, walk on the sidewalk? there are men there too. Its a moot point, don't frustrate yourself. -- Mike Bradley http://gzen.myhq.info -- free online php tools > "David Brewster" <punky_NO_SPAM@interlog.com> wrote in message > It does sound like she is a bit insecure, however, the argument it not worth > it from her very own words of "100% in him" she does not realy believe this. > What she realy is saying is: > > I have 100% trust in you, but if another woman is interested in you, I dont > trust you. That's a great line. He'll have to use it when the subject comes up again. Thanks - it was very articulate. > She realy needs to look at herself, and try to figure out what is going on, > and true, if she realy is not into diving, and he is, well, a chance does [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > Its a moot point, don't frustrate yourself. "moot point" is his favorite line. Funny - she's actaully a fitness buff, and while she is working in an office now - she is taking her fitnes instructor's exam to be a personal trainer. Now she's got a perfect 10 body and a beautiful face - guys fall over her all the time, but he's told her time and time again that he would never dream of telling her to restrict her clients and he trusts her completely - he just wants the same back. He's tried in vain to tell her that scuba instruction is far less condusive to "hooking up" than being someone's personal trainer - but she doesn't see that. >>"David Brewster" <punky_NO_SPAM@interlog.com> wrote in message > [quoted text clipped - 39 lines] > "hooking up" than being someone's personal trainer - but she doesn't see > that. Whhaaaat? She can train men in physical fitness, he allows her to, but she won't allow him to train female scuba divers. If that isn't a signal I don't know what is! From my experiences when someone starts accusing and mistrusting as she is it usually means the accuser is guilty! Dump her! > she won't allow him to train female scuba divers. If that isn't a > signal I don't know what is! From my experiences when someone starts > accusing and mistrusting as she is it usually means the accuser is guilty! Unfortunately -- I know exactly what you mean here -- and I agree. Kimber SignatureBetter be wise by the misfortunes of others than by your own. Aesop > > "David Brewster" <punky_NO_SPAM@interlog.com> wrote in message > [quoted text clipped - 31 lines] > "hooking up" than being someone's personal trainer - but she doesn't see > that. I'm not saying that this is the case, but I've heard that people often fear in others what they do themselves... Just something to keep in mind... C Guynn > Ok. > A buddy of mine just got his instructor rating (I'm an instructor too). [quoted text clipped - 22 lines] > > Dave tell your friend to dump her! > tell your friend to dump her! Not that easy. He's in love with her. On 2 occassions he did try to call it off for similar reasons - but she pleaded and he's weak when it comes to her. 90% of the time she's wonderful and sweet, but she has her "calabrese" moments which mich last anywhere from 10 minutes to an evening. But then she appologizes and they move on. It would be a lot easier if he didn't love her, but given that he does, and given how he finds her incredibly beautiful - his heart governs his actions. He really wants to make it work. (http://www.punksoft.com/Desktop.jpg) > > tell your friend to dump her! > [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > moments which mich last anywhere from 10 minutes to an evening. But then she > appologizes and they move on. It would be a lot easier if he didn't love Sounds like a cycle that'll onlyu get worse with time. Perhaps some counseling would help. > her, but given that he does, and given how he finds her incredibly > beautiful - his heart governs his actions. He really wants to make it work. You, I mean he, shouldn't let the heart govern.. That's what the brain is for. The heart is just a muscle. Look at it this way, perhaps the main thing keeping her in check is the fact that she isn't married to the chap. She could easily try to get more controlling & insecure once it becomes much more 'expensive' to leave the relationship. You said the person was a fitness trainer. Does she train only women? Dennis > (http://www.punksoft.com/Desktop.jpg) > Sounds like a cycle that'll onlyu get worse with time. > Perhaps some counseling would help. He actually suggested that (after swallowing his pride). She didn't like the idea. > Look at it this way, perhaps the main thing keeping her in check is the fact > that she isn't married to the chap. She could easily try to get more > controlling & insecure once it becomes much more 'expensive' to leave the > relationship. That's what he's afraid of. > You said the person was a fitness trainer. Does she train only women? He'stold her she can train anyone she wants - he doesn't have a problem with that at all. "David Brewster" <punky_NO_SPAM@interlog.com> wrote in message news:efdKb.8312 > > Sounds like a cycle that'll onlyu get worse with time. > > Perhaps some counseling would help. > > He actually suggested that (after swallowing his pride). She didn't like the > idea. What is the big deal here. If they were really committed to eachother and had some issue that they could not work out on their own - what is the problem of consulting a professional. Christ - you are consulting a group like us - a professional could possibly help them. Kimber SignatureA doubtful friend is worse than a certain enemy. Let a man be one thing or the other, and we then know how to meet him. Aesop > "David Brewster" <punky_NO_SPAM@interlog.com> wrote in message > news:efdKb.8312 [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > problem of consulting a professional. Christ - you are consulting a group > like us - a professional could possibly help them. We've helped more than a professional is likely to. Life is too short to dance with ugly women . . . or men. Lee "Lee Bell" <leebell@ix.remove.netcom.com> wrote in message news:o0fKb.9864 > > What is the big deal here. If they were really committed to eachother and > > had some issue that they could not work out on their own - what is the [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > We've helped more than a professional is likely to. Life is too short to > dance with ugly women . . . or men. Heh - but he doesn't think she is ugly. If he is really wanting to stay with this woman then there is nothing the ng has done to help them out except recommend counseling. They obviously have some major issues that have to be worked out if they want to stay together and it goes way beyond diving. Kimber SignatureI'm movin' on At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone > > Sounds like a cycle that'll onlyu get worse with time. > > Perhaps some counseling would help. > > He actually suggested that (after swallowing his pride). She didn't like the > idea. But consulting a bunch of non-counselors (ok, there may be a counselor or two out there) is ok? > > Look at it this way, perhaps the main thing keeping her in check is the > fact [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > That's what he's afraid of. And should be. > > You said the person was a fitness trainer. Does she train only women? > > He'stold her she can train anyone she wants - he doesn't have a problem with > that at all. I'll repeat the question. Does she train only women, or does she have males as clients also. For her to be consistent with she wanting you to train only men, she would have to train only women. I'm not saying that YOU are asking her to do this. She'd do that on her own. Dennis > > Sounds like a cycle that'll onlyu get worse with time. > > Perhaps some counseling would help. > > He actually suggested that (after swallowing his pride). She didn't like the > idea. Ummm... using her ideas... if she really cared, she'd be willing... <snip> > > tell your friend to dump her! > > Not that easy. He's in love with her. On 2 occassions he did try to call it > off for similar reasons - AH HA! Told ya. > but she pleaded and he's weak when it comes to > her. Use the big head . . . > 90% of the time she's wonderful and sweet, but she has her "calabrese" > moments which mich last anywhere from 10 minutes to an evening. But then she [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > (http://www.punksoft.com/Desktop.jpg) Yeah, yeah, yeah . . . how many times did you want us to look at these pictures of your girlfriend and you anyway? She sounds like a real piece of work to me. [SNIP] > > It would be a lot easier if he didn't love > > her, but given that he does, and given how he finds her incredibly [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > > She sounds like a real piece of work to me. Take a second look at the pictures and read the body language of both parties. In all but one the man's head is leaning AWAY from the woman, rather than towards it as it would be if he were really interested in her. In only one picture is he even holding her. In all the others his arms are down and it's she who is clinging onto him, almost pulling him into her. In the one picture where his arms ARE around her, he is holding his own self, not her. It looks to me as if he is trying to get away or just putting up with the whole thing. This is NOT the body language of a very 'happy together' couple. Steve Kramer Chiang Mai, Thailand Five years, four months, two weeks, one day, 10 hours, 22 minutes and 48 seconds. 58902 cigarettes not smoked, saving $14,725.74. Time used for a better purpose: 29 weeks, 1 day, 12 hours, 30 minutes. Signature"The real voyage of discovery is not in seeking new lands, but in seeing with new eyes!" Marcel Proust > > Yeah, yeah, yeah . . . how many times did you want us to look at these > > pictures of your girlfriend and you anyway? [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > Take a second look at the pictures and read the body language of both > parties. You just wanted to make me look at his pictures again. (g) > In all but one the man's head is leaning AWAY from the woman, > rather than towards it as it would be if he were really interested in [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > away or just putting up with the whole thing. This is NOT the body > language of a very 'happy together' couple. Well, he did have his hand in her lap in one picture. > Take a second look at the pictures and read the body language of both > parties. In all but one the man's head is leaning AWAY from the woman, [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > away or just putting up with the whole thing. This is NOT the body > language of a very 'happy together' couple. That is incredibly interesting. I'm sure there would be a defensive excuse for it... but that was very observant of you.... ... things that make you go hmmmmmmmmmm ... > > tell your friend to dump her! > [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > > (http://www.punksoft.com/Desktop.jpg) Your friend should read Dr. Laura's Ten Stupid Things Men do to Mess up Their Lives... > Ok. > A buddy of mine just got his instructor rating (I'm an instructor too). [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > Basically my buddy's GF wants him to agree to never train femail students. > She says she trusts him 100% - it's the women that she doesn't trust. Is you friend to frail to fend off all these aggressive female students by himself? And is his girlfriend giving him the 'if you love me you won't do this' line? The need to limit the 'other' person in a relationship is indicative of a faulty relationship to begin with. In a healthy relationship each person sets their own limits and trusts that their significant other will act responsibly according to their agreed upon relationship. Without trust there is no healthy relationship. They really need to examine their own motives, not each others, or stranger's. Steve Kramer Chiang Mai, Thailand Five years, four months, two weeks, 11 hours, 28 minutes and 44 seconds. 58874 cigarettes not smoked, saving $14,718.58. Time used for a better purpose: 29 weeks, 1 day, 10 hours, 10 minutes. Signature"The real voyage of discovery is not in seeking new lands, but in seeing with new eyes!" Marcel Proust > Is you friend to frail to fend off all these aggressive female students > by himself? And is his girlfriend giving him the 'if you love me you > won't do this' line? Totally - he's absolutely able to fend them off - actually - he's pretty dense when it comes to women being into him. They would have to throw themselves at him (not that they would or anything) before he would get a clue - and even then - he's devoted to his GF. And yes - that is the line she is giving him. > The need to limit the 'other' person in a relationship is indicative of > a faulty relationship to begin with. In a healthy relationship each > person sets their own limits and trusts that their significant other > will act responsibly according to their agreed upon relationship. > Without trust there is no healthy relationship. They really need to > examine their own motives, not each others, or stranger's. Well he trusts her 100%. She's working at being a fitness trainer and he completly trusts her with buff male clients. Actually - it's possible that he's not jealous enough - he doesn't have a jealous bone in his body and insists she should have all the freedom to do whatever she wants (short of cheating on him of course). She claims to trust him 100% - but I guess that's only true when there are no other women around - even though she claims he does nothing to warrant any distrust. >From: "David Brewster" punky_NO_SPAM@interlog.com >Date: 1/4/04 2:52 AM Eastern Standard Time >Basically my buddy's GF wants him to agree to never train femail students. Get the Big Picture. The base problem is that your buddy is totally pussy whipped. If he wasn't, the ludicrous conversation never would have taken place. Popeye "Naked force has settled more issues in history than any other factor.The contrary opinion 'violence never solves anything' is wishful thinking at its worst." >>From: "David Brewster" punky_NO_SPAM@interlog.com >>Date: 1/4/04 2:52 AM Eastern Standard Time [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > than any other factor.The contrary opinion 'violence > never solves anything' is wishful thinking at its worst." I agree with Popeye. And some... Ditch the witch... Women that don't dive are boring... I married one of my students. AND yes some guys teach to meet women. Cheaper than renting them by the hour Pops'. <nasty dig> Become a full instructor or you'll end up teaching all the ugly ones. I had a deal with the shop I taught out of and I stacked my courses. Needless to say this attracted more guys to the store. Not to mention I actually made money. Women that don't dive or drive have big issues. People with issues don't get better with time, just worse. Most women take up diving for a change and some excitement. Take up teaching and the world of meeting women will open up. Just be selective and discrete or you'll burn your bridges. Very little pay but you get laid. (if you want) Toto > >>From: "David Brewster" punky_NO_SPAM@interlog.com > >>Date: 1/4/04 2:52 AM Eastern Standard Time [quoted text clipped - 33 lines] > > Toto how many women died in training? -- A friend is someone who knows you, understands the essential conflicts in your thinking, in your morals, and in your philosophy, and like you anyway. > I agree with Popeye. > And some... [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] > > Toto Christ - he can't show her taht email now can he? haha. > >From: "David Brewster" punky_NO_SPAM@interlog.com > >Date: 1/4/04 2:52 AM Eastern Standard Time [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > If he wasn't, the ludicrous conversation never would have taken place. He's actually said that. He's not backed down from his position at all and have told her she could leave if she doesn't like it. Problem is he loves her, she's hot(http://www.punksoft.com/Desktop.jpg), and she loves him. For now the topic has dies down - but he expects it will come back up again within a few days. In article <Wi5Kb.1390$fy01.797@twister01.bloor.is.net.cable.rogers.com>, David Brewster <punky_NO_SPAM@interlog.com> wrote: >> >From: "David Brewster" punky_NO_SPAM@interlog.com >> >Date: 1/4/04 2:52 AM Eastern Standard Time [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] >have told her she could leave if she doesn't like it. Problem is he loves >her, she's hot(http://www.punksoft.com/Desktop.jpg) You've said that several times, and posted the link several times. Methinks you may have more interest in her than anything else. Personally, I'm not that impressed. , and she loves him. And you know this how? > In article > Personally, I'm not that impressed. You would be if you saw her calendar pics. ;-) > , and she loves him. > > And you know this how? She tells the world that she does. And tells him constantly. She honestly seems totally dedicated to him (and likewise). > > In article > > Personally, I'm not that impressed. > > You would be if you saw her calendar pics. ;-) I was wondering when you were going to bring that up. This is all just fluffer for the next set of shots, right? > > , and she loves him. > > > > And you know this how? > > She tells the world that she does. And tells him constantly. She honestly > seems totally dedicated to him (and likewise). Yeah, having to constantly tell you man that she loves him and is totally dedicated to him is always a huge indicator . . . of something. > I was wondering when you were going to bring that up. This is all just > fluffer for the next set of shots, right? haha ;-) > Yeah, having to constantly tell you man that she loves him and is totally > dedicated to him is always a huge indicator . . . of something. Of what? > > In article > > Personally, I'm not that impressed. > > You would be if you saw her calendar pics. ;-) Personally, I think that my wife is better looking... but I'm probably a little biased... :-) "Chris Guynn" <chrisguynn@sbcglobal.N.O.S.P.A.M.net> wrote in message news:NijKb.2408 > > You would be if you saw her calendar pics. ;-) > > Personally, I think that my wife is better looking... but I'm probably a > little biased... :-) Send a pic of your wife and I will give an objective opinion! (-: Kimber SignatureA doubtful friend is worse than a certain enemy. Let a man be one thing or the other, and we then know how to meet him. Aesop > "Chris Guynn" <chrisguynn@sbcglobal.N.O.S.P.A.M.net> wrote in message > news:NijKb.2408 [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > Send a pic of your wife and I will give an objective opinion! (-: Can do. I'll try to send two. One of them will involve scuba though, so you might be a little biased too. :-) The other one (if I can manage it) will probably involve at least partial nudity, so you may be even more biased... ;-) Would you prefer high or low definition? (partial nudity is only available in low definition... if at all) > Kimber "Chris Guynn" <chrisguynn@sbcglobal.N.O.S.P.A.M.net> wrote in message news:QSlKb.6695 > Can do. I'll try to send two. One of them will involve scuba though, so > you might be a little biased too. :-) The other one (if I can manage it) That works! > will probably involve at least partial nudity, so you may be even more > biased... ;-) Yes! Even better!!!!!!!!!!!! It is about damn time! (-: I know - you didn't send them before cause you didn't want Hog to see them! > Would you prefer high or low definition? (partial nudity is only available > in low definition... if at all) Send them however you want! I am on high speed here so download time isn't an issue! I will be waiting! (-; Kimber SignatureA positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. Herm Albright "Alan Street" > You've said that several times, and posted the link several times. > Methinks you may have more interest in her than anything else. He's interested in her because he's engaged to her, at least that's what he posted in November when he posted that link. > And you know this how? Because his schizophrenic other half told him ;op Jane > > And you know this how? > > Because his schizophrenic other half told him ;op > > Jane Good one Jane. ;-) > "Alan Street" > [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > He's interested in her because he's engaged to her, at least that's what he > posted in November when he posted that link. ummm... that seems a little backwards to me... :-) > > >From: "David Brewster" punky_NO_SPAM@interlog.com > > >Date: 1/4/04 2:52 AM Eastern Standard Time [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > now the topic has dies down - but he expects it will come back up again > within a few days. Nice pic... but thats your GF... rhys > > > >From: "David Brewster" punky_NO_SPAM@interlog.com > > > >Date: 1/4/04 2:52 AM Eastern Standard Time [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > > Nice pic... but thats your GF... I'm not so sure. Maybe she's the girl he'd like to be going with. Maybe he stalks her and dreams of her committing to him. But when push comes to shove, she really won't have anything to do with him. He's obsessed. you know like all those guys that think Madonna truly loves them and wants to be married to them? > I'm not so sure. Maybe she's the girl he'd like to be going with. Maybe he > stalks her and dreams of her committing to him. But when push comes to > shove, she really won't have anything to do with him. He's obsessed. > > you know like all those guys that think Madonna truly loves them and wants > to be married to them? That would be pretty sad and pathetic if it were true huh? > you know like all those guys that think Madonna truly loves them and wants > to be married to them? THe other guys are just wanna-be's. She truly loves only me. -- A friend is someone who knows you, understands the essential conflicts in your thinking, in your morals, and in your philosophy, and like you anyway. > > you know like all those guys that think Madonna truly loves them and wants > > to be married to them? > > THe other guys are just wanna-be's. She truly loves only me. More power to you... Personally, I'd rather have Joey Lauren Adams, Renee Zellweger, and/or Drew Barrymore... :-) > -- > > A friend is someone who knows you, understands the essential conflicts in your > thinking, in your morals, and in your philosophy, and like you anyway. > > > you know like all those guys that think Madonna truly loves them and > wants [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > More power to you... Personally, I'd rather have Joey Lauren Adams, Renee > Zellweger, and/or Drew Barrymore... :-) But do you believe that they are in love with you? > > > > you know like all those guys that think Madonna truly loves them and > > wants [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > But do you believe that they are in love with you? I'm fairly certain they wouldn't know me from Adam. I'm not sure who Adam is, but I'm pretty sure they wouldn't know me from him. > > > > > you know like all those guys that think Madonna truly loves them and > > > wants [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > I'm fairly certain they wouldn't know me from Adam. I'm not sure who Adam > is, but I'm pretty sure they wouldn't know me from him. Then you are OK. It's when they think that a star truly loves them, well, that's where the problems start. Right Dazed and Confused? (g) > > > > > > you know like all those guys that think Madonna truly loves them > and [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > Then you are OK. It's when they think that a star truly loves them, well, > that's where the problems start. Right Dazed and Confused? (g) What problem? <eg> -- A friend is someone who knows you, understands the essential conflicts in your thinking, in your morals, and in your philosophy, and like you anyway. > > > I'm fairly certain they wouldn't know me from Adam. I'm not sure who Adam > > > is, but I'm pretty sure they wouldn't know me from him. [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > What problem? > <eg> I think you need to invest in an Aphrodiasacs manufactoring firm... Feed them some of the produce... ;) rhys <snip> > > Then you are OK. It's when they think that a star truly loves them, well, > > that's where the problems start. Right Dazed and Confused? (g) > > What problem? > <eg> Paparazzi, and the fact that they keep acting like they don't know you in public, and ignore your letters, and get restraining orders..... Dennis > -- > > A friend is someone who knows you, understands the essential conflicts in your > thinking, in your morals, and in your philosophy, and like you anyway. > > > you know like all those guys that think Madonna truly loves them and > wants [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > More power to you... Personally, I'd rather have Joey Lauren Adams, Renee > Zellweger, and/or Drew Barrymore... :-) Jessica Alba or Rose McGowan for me. rhys > > > > you know like all those guys that think Madonna truly loves them and > > wants [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > Jessica Alba or Rose McGowan for me. Good choices, but a little too thin for my tastes... :-) > rhys > Nice pic... but thats your GF... Right-o What can I say - it's easier saying "my friend" > Ok. > A buddy of mine just got his instructor rating (I'm an instructor too). [quoted text clipped - 22 lines] > > Dave I think when you come down to it - it becomes control. Once he agrees to not train women she'll come up with something else to bitch about. While I think it is stupid to agree to such a thing (Kimber and the girls(women) here - yes I am a make chauvinistic pig) probably most if not all insecure males would make the same demand! > I think when you come down to it - it becomes control. Once he agrees > to not train women she'll come up with something else to bitch about. Absolutely. Although there have to be some boundries in relationships this goes a bit far. > While I think it is stupid to agree to such a thing (Kimber and the > girls(women) here - yes I am a make chauvinistic pig) probably most if > not all insecure males would make the same demand! I agree that it is stupid to agree to such a thing. If she is so afraid of losing him to a diver -- maybe she needs to get certed -- dive tons and become his assistant! (-: I wonder -- would most guys here demand that of their wives/gf's? Kimber >>I think when you come down to it - it becomes control. Once he agrees >>to not train women she'll come up with something else to bitch about. [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > > Kimber I certainly would not put such a silly restriction on my wife This isn't a male/female thing. Anytime one party of a relationship tries to exercise this much control, the other party should really consider whether this something that is worth putting up with. And my take is that it never is, because it ain't going to get better. That level of insecurity doesn't go away; it just gets worse. >> I think when you come down to it - it becomes control. Once he agrees >> to not train women she'll come up with something else to bitch about. [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > >Kimber > This isn't a male/female thing. Anytime one party of a relationship > tries to exercise this much control, the other party should really > consider whether this something that is worth putting up with. And my > take is that it never is, because it ain't going to get better. That > level of insecurity doesn't go away; it just gets worse. That's what he's afraid of. :-( He's desperate for it to work out. >> This isn't a male/female thing. Anytime one party of a relationship >> tries to exercise this much control, the other party should really [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] >That's what he's afraid of. :-( >He's desperate for it to work out. Punky, let's cut to the chase scenes, shall we? First of all, I don't think this about a "friend." As Painter said, I think it's about you. Second, judging from your other posts, I don't think you have much of a future as a dive instructor. I know I wouldn't leave any of my friends or family alone in your care. Third, it's obvious that maintaining a relationship with this woman is the highest priority in your life right now. That's fine. Follow your heart/gonads/whatever and get on with it. You've asked a question that pertains to anyone who has ever taught. Yes, students come on to teachers. No, teachers shouldn't take advantage of the situation, but some do. Those are the simple facts of life. We have no idea about your's/her's/it's credibility, nor do we need to. Regardless, if you think being an unencumbered dive instructor (of questionable compentancy) is the highest priority, then you know what to do. If maintaining a status quo relationship with this woman is more important, then do what she wants. At this point, growing a backbone is probably an unreasonable goal. Best of luck, Alan > > This isn't a male/female thing. Anytime one party of a relationship > > tries to exercise this much control, the other party should really [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > That's what he's afraid of. :-( > He's desperate for it to work out. "Desperate" is certainly the word of the day. > That's what he's afraid of. :-( > He's desperate for it to work out. Do you always speak of yourself in the third person? Back in the f.cking hole with you. > > I think when you come down to it - it becomes control. Once he agrees > > to not train women she'll come up with something else to bitch about. > > Absolutely. Although there have to be some boundries in relationships this > goes a bit far. Maybe in the simplest form described here, it seems too far. I wonder what "the rest of the story" is. Seems like a private matter between the couple that one party is trying to persuade the public that the other party's perspective is outrageous. Maybe she should dump him, before he tries to explain how all instructors cheat, it's normal, and she should accept it? > > While I think it is stupid to agree to such a thing (Kimber and the > > girls(women) here - yes I am a make chauvinistic pig) probably most if [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > losing him to a diver -- maybe she needs to get certed -- dive tons and > become his assistant! (-: Is there a realistic compromise or a concrete boundry line they can agree upon and both be comfortable with? Becoming a diver herself may not be a realistic answer. > I wonder -- would most guys here demand that of their wives/gf's? Verbatim, no. But a clear understanding of acceptable boundaries may save one party a world of hurt. I seriously doubt this forum is a place to resolve this issue. Curtis > Maybe in the simplest form described here, it seems too far. I wonder > what "the rest of the story" is. Seems like a private matter between the > couple that one party is trying to persuade the public that the other > party's perspective is outrageous. Maybe she should dump him, before he > tries to explain how all instructors cheat, it's normal, and she should > accept it? That's a unique perspective Curtis. If he were to try and say that they all cheat and she chould accept it - then I would agree with you 100% - she should dump him. But that's not the case here... he truly is dedicated to her and has no eyes for anyone else. Not only is she hot(http://www.punksoft.com/Desktop.jpg)... but he's just plain on smitten with her. She can be incredibly sweet and nuturing to him, and is the most affectionate woman imaginable - so he's desperate for it to work out. > > > While I think it is stupid to agree to such a thing (Kimber and the > > > girls(women) here - yes I am a make chauvinistic pig) probably most if [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > losing him to a diver -- maybe she needs to get certed -- dive tons and > > become his assistant! (-: His point exactly! :-) > Is there a realistic compromise or a concrete boundry line they can > agree upon and both be comfortable with? Becoming a diver herself may not > be a realistic answer. > > > I wonder -- would most guys here demand that of their wives/gf's? He wouldn't that's for sure. > Verbatim, no. But a clear understanding of acceptable boundaries may > save one party a world of hurt. > > I seriously doubt this forum is a place to resolve this issue. Perhaps not but more understanding that's for sure. "David Brewster" > Not only is she > hot(http://www.punksoft.com/Desktop.jpg)... but he's just plain on smitten > with her. Did I miss something David? Why are you referring to yourself as a third party? You posted this link in November as you and your fianc?? Now she's a girlfriend of a friend? Jane > "David Brewster" > > Not only is she [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > party? You posted this link in November as you and your fianc?? Now she's > a girlfriend of a friend? Good catch, Jane. http://groups.google.com/groups?q=g:thl485272258d&dq=&hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF- 8&selm=bodn4c%24p08%241%40news.eusc.inter.net http://makeashorterlink.com/?O21A525F6 Dennis > Jane > > "David Brewster" > > > Not only is she [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > > Good catch, Jane. http://groups.google.com/groups?q=g:thl485272258d&dq=&hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF- 8&selm=bodn4c%24p08%241%40news.eusc.inter.net > http://makeashorterlink.com/?O21A525F6 > > Dennis Like I just said.... It was tonge-in-cheek using the "my friend". People here tend to be pretty smart - I think everyone caught on right off the bat.. "my friend" is pretty cliche no? > > > "David Brewster" > > > > Not only is she [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > > > > Good catch, Jane. http://groups.google.com/groups?q=g:thl485272258d&dq=&hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF- 8&selm=bodn4c%24p08%241%40news.eusc.inter.net > > http://makeashorterlink.com/?O21A525F6 > > [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > here tend to be pretty smart - I think everyone caught on right off the > bat.. "my friend" is pretty cliche no? So why bother? :-) Dennis > "David Brewster" > > Not only is she [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > Jane Hey Jane. Yes it is my GF. Given past posts, I said "friend" and kept up the charade of "my friend" in a sort of tonge-in-cheek attitude. > > Maybe in the simplest form described here, it seems too far. I wonder > > what "the rest of the story" is. Seems like a private matter between the [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > her and has no eyes for anyone else. Not only is she > hot(http://www.punksoft.com/Desktop.jpg)... Enough with the pictures already. What a fluffer. >but he's just plain on smitten > with her. Not just smitten with her, you're nutty as a fruitcake. >She can be incredibly sweet and nuturing to him, and is the most > affectionate woman imaginable - so he's desperate for it to work out. If he (you) are that desperate for it to work out, you'd (he'd) better give up diving and anything else she takes exception to. > > > losing him to a diver -- maybe she needs to get certed -- dive tons and > > > become his assistant! (-: > > His point exactly! :-) You said she absolutely will not take up diving. As an instructor, do you think it is wise to force or coerce someone into diving? > > Verbatim, no. But a clear understanding of acceptable boundaries may > > save one party a world of hurt. > > > > I seriously doubt this forum is a place to resolve this issue. > > Perhaps not but more understanding that's for sure. We might have been understanding for the first five minutes, but your time is up. > Not just smitten with her, you're nutty as a fruitcake. Wow - you are such a great judge of character! ;-pP > You said she absolutely will not take up diving. As an instructor, do you > think it is wise to force or coerce someone into diving? Absolutely not - which is why it's never pushed. > We might have been understanding for the first five minutes, but your time > is up. Then I suppose people will stop posting right? ;-) > > Not just smitten with her, you're nutty as a fruitcake. > > Wow - you are such a great judge of character! > ;-pP Usually. > > You said she absolutely will not take up diving. As an instructor, do you > > think it is wise to force or coerce someone into diving? > > Absolutely not - which is why it's never pushed. Well, in a few of your other posts about this you were saying that you were still trying to get her to try it. > > We might have been understanding for the first five minutes, but your time > > is up. > > Then I suppose people will stop posting right? > ;-) No, but the whippings will continue until the attitude is adjusted. > Is there a realistic compromise or a concrete boundry line they can > agree upon and both be comfortable with? Becoming a diver herself may not > be a realistic answer. Well for her it is not training females. Maybe he needs to make the same demand. What is good for the goose is good for the gander. Or -- moving on before it is too late is always an option. > > I wonder -- would most guys here demand that of their wives/gf's? > > Verbatim, no. But a clear understanding of acceptable boundaries may > save one party a world of hurt. Absolutely. In every relationship there are acceptable boundries that are set up. Be them as simple as no sex with anybody else - or no training studets of the opposite sex. It is up to the parties involved to decide where these boundries lie. When I went to massage school one of the students did not work on men - EVER. It was agreed upon by the husband and wife that they do not touch another person of the opposite sex -- ever. Most of us thought it was odd - but that was their agreement. > I seriously doubt this forum is a place to resolve this issue. Awww - come on now. Isn't rec.scuba the place where the Gods speak and all truth is told? (_: Kimber SignatureIt is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not. Andre Gide > > > I wonder -- would most guys here demand that of their wives/gf's? I might if I thought I could get away with it. I'm not that foolish. > Absolutely. In every relationship there are acceptable boundries that are > set up. They must be voluntary or they're constraints rather than boundaries. I know very well where my boundaries are and every one of them is voluntary and, while based on my wife's needs and desires, come entirely from me. > > I seriously doubt this forum is a place to resolve this issue. I think this forum has come up with some damned good comments. Some, perhaps even many of us, have been in a constraining relationship. The time to avoid that is before you |
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