SCUBA divers are probably not what you think they are.  If you are
like most people, SCUBA probably conjures up visions of Sea Hunt or
something.   But this is a carefully crafted PR image.  The real truth
is much darker.

For one thing, divers hoard air.  Not just in old coffee cans or under
the mattress, no, these folks go to great lengths, buying metal
bottles, often made of special materials (such as aluminum), and even
filtering and compressing the air they store.  Some have even gone so
far as to develop special "blends."

Another characteristic of divers is that they love control.  Almost
all of them have at least one "regulator," and many have several. Many
have become so dependent that they won't fly or travel without their
regulator.

They have an elaborate set of gestures by which they communicate with
each other.  The average person walking down the street probably
wouldn't know how to deal with a loss of air or even to how to ask
someone else for some.  But these fiends not only have signals for
that, they even practice it.

They have a plan.  We aren't sure exactly what it is but they are
continually talking about the "first stage" or the "second stage."
They are obviously up to something.  It probably involves sucking the
air off the planet.  The third stage is probably to rule the world.