NEW YORK -- A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy
International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession
of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he
believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not
identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of
math instruction. "Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said. "They
desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in
search of absolute values. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and
refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a
common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every
country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides
to every triangle'." When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush
said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He
would have given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters
they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the
president.

Sorry, I just could not resist.

Here's something to make up for it. It's off topic, but pretty spectacular
anyway.
http://s16.photobucket.com/albums/b48/UK_Neil/?action=view&current=Puppet.flv