> EU Heightened Security
>
> The English are feeling the pinch in relation to
> recent terrorist threats and have raised their
> security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved."  Soon,
> though, security levels may be raised yet again to
> "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not
> been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea
> supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been
> re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance."
> The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance"
> warning level was during the great fire of 1666.
>
> Also, the French government announced yesterday that
> it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to
> "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are
> "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was
> precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's
> white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the
> country's military capability.
>
> It's not only the English and French that are on a
> heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the
> alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to
> "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels
> remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change
> Sides."
>
> The Germans also increased their alert state from
> "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing
> Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels:
> "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."
>
> Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as
> usual, and the only threat they are worried about is
> NATO pulling out of Brussels .
>
> The Spanish are all excited to see their new
> submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed
> subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can
> get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
>
> "I do not think that the wireless waves that I have discovered will
> have any practical application."  --- Heinrich Hertz

>  John says I'm a blusterer, a noisy gasbag.

>  How'd you like to report on that to him
> personally? I get up your way all the time now.