First, you must find a mentor who will administer the exam. Only those
with the cert may serve as mentor.

Second, you must pass the exam, as follows:

Std 1. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE

Describe the history of  diving from its origins to the present day,
concentrating especially but not exclusively on its social, political,
economic, religious and philosophical impact on Europe,  Asia, America,
and Africa.

Std 2. TEACHING SKILLS

Sketch the development of learning in humans. Estimate its significance.
Compare with the development of learning in non-humans.

Std. 3 LEADERSHIP SKILLS

At your signal, your examiner will let into the room 35 members of WKPP
and George Irvine. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except
Latin or Greek.

Std 4. PHYSICS

Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation of
the impact of the development of mathematics on science.

Std 5. MARINE BIOLOGY

Create a new form of marine life. Estimate the subsequent differences in
marine biology if this form of life had developed 500 million years
earlier, with special attention  to its probable effect on the slimy
doris (Dendrodoris krebsii).

Std 6. DIVE MANAGEMENT

Plan a dive to 20,000 leagues under the sea. Trace the effects of the
following on your dive plan: the wave theory of light; the Donatist
controversy; cubism. Outline a method for preventing these effects.
Criticize this method from all possible points of view. Point out the
deficiencies in your points of view as demonstrated in your criticism of
your method.

Std 7. FIRST AID

You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a
bottle of rum. Demonstrate on yourself the surgical relief of emboli. Do
not suture until your examiner has inspected your work.

Std 8. WATERMANSHIP (stage 1)

In full scuba gear and using only your teeth to hold the line, tow your
boat to the dive site where Standards 9 - 12 will be evaluated. (Minimum
36’ boat, minimum 3.5 miles to site. Waiting time for drawbridge(s) will
not be penalized)  Descend to 190 fsw, place the anchor, remove and
discard your tank and regulator(s), and await your examiner.

Std  9.  MIXED GAS PHYSIOLOGY

Your examiner will give you three tanks, one containing pure oxygen, one
containing pure helium, and one containing pure nitrogen. You will
conduct the remainder of the underwater exam managing your mix by
breathing from the valves of the three tanks. Plan on 40 minutes to
complete the remainder of the underwater exam.

Std. 10  BASIC SKILLS

Remove your mask, fins, weight belt, and dry suit, in that order. Place
all in the basket for removal to the surface.

 Std 11. EMERGENCY MANAGEMENT

Enter the shark cage. Your examiner will release 2500 pounds of chum and
play a tape of the mating call of the Great White Shark. On the floor of
your shark cage will be found a block of walnut, a block of tool steel,
a length of surgical tubing, and rough drawings of a high-powered spear
gun. On your signal, the examiner will open the door of the shark cage.

Std 12. RESCUE SKILLS

At your signal, your examiner will release from the boat three concrete
“divers” each 6 feet by two feet by two feet.  Within three minutes from
your signal, you must have each “diver” back on the boat.  Defend your
method legally, citing all appropriate case law from California,
Florida, Texas, and the Dominican Republic.

Std 13. WATERMANSHIP  (stage 2)

In full scuba gear but excluding mask, snorkel, and fins, and using only
your teeth to hold the line, tow your boat back to the marina. (It is
not required to reverse the boat into the slip, if necessary)

Std 14. DIVE BOAT SUPERVISION

Get the other divers each a beer. Unload the boat, rinse all  gear, and
hang neatly. Get the captain a beer. Hose down the boat. Get the
examiner a beer. Pump out the head tank and put in fresh chemicals. Get
the captain a beer. Load all gear in the truck. Get examiner a beer.

EXTRA CREDIT

Denigrate the standards, procedures, and contributions to diving of all
agencies. Define the positive effects on western civilization had these
agencies never existed, with emphasis on the free market system and the
British parliament. (may be substituted for failure of any of the above
standards)

finalprotectivefire.com

On May 25, 6:54 pm, "George Price and Sheree Price"
<gpri...@cfl.rr.com> wrote:

If you could do me a big favor, contact Divi Resorts **by email** and
inquire about what the rates are to rent one of the timeshare rooms
and what dates are available, network trade-ins, etc.  Pretty much a
"how can I be your customer?" routine.

Purpose is that these results will be useful for our legal team to
have it in writing from Divi that they're refusing to rent out,
because this will help prove that they're purposefully trying to run
it into bankrupcy (to default on our contracts) instead of making
money.

Craig is a bit more expensive, but he compensates some by putting far
fewer divers onboard.  I've not been on his boat yet.

It certainly was.

-hh