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Scuba Forum / General / October 2005

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newbee basic advice

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ilaboo - 05 Oct 2005 23:21 GMT
65 yrs old in excellant health--background in medicine--did lots of
snokeling and build breathing valve from military b29 breathing  valve
years  8 years old at the time  ago--did not use it
very powerrful swimmer---2 miles a week non stop
planing to get into scuba diving, buy my own equiptment--teach
myself--maybe ask a few friends some basic questions--re
equiptment--planning only shallow dives--maybe 15 max

i recognize that this question must have been ask4ed a million times but
have not found advice on it yet

looked intio scuba school but got pissed at all the certifications etc

i am planning buying very basic but quality equiptment

can i teach myself scuba diving by myself/--i have access to a pool

problem at least here i sthat you need some sort of certification card
to have your tanks filled---is this true or bs?

any pointers appreciated--remember i march to my own drummer and schools
are now out of the question
chilly - 05 Oct 2005 23:31 GMT
(snip)>
> any pointers appreciated--remember i march to my own drummer

feel free to march all the way to your early demise.
(snip)
mike gray - 06 Oct 2005 00:32 GMT
> (snip)>
>
>>any pointers appreciated--remember i march to my own drummer
>
> feel free to march all the way to your early demise.
> (snip)

Damn! I forgot to tell him we swim these days.

m
Limey - 05 Oct 2005 23:36 GMT
> 65 yrs old in excellant health--background in medicine--did lots of
> snokeling and build breathing valve from military b29 breathing  valve
[quoted text clipped - 18 lines]
> any pointers appreciated--remember i march to my own drummer and schools
> are now out of the question

I wouldn't advise what you are suggesting, but I dove for several years
without any formal training or certification.
You cannot buy air without a c-card, at least in any place that checks.
If you are intent on doing it your way (DIY) then read the books and
understand the physiology before even getting in a pool with a
tank....better still, interview instructors until you find one who'll suit
you. You only need an open water cert....the rest are for the collectors!

LD.

LD.
Lee Bell - 06 Oct 2005 09:37 GMT
> I wouldn't advise what you are suggesting, but I dove for several years
> without any formal training or certification.
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
> tank....better still, interview instructors until you find one who'll suit
> you. You only need an open water cert....the rest are for the collectors!

Open Water - gets you past industry rules on selling equipment and getting
fills.

Advanced Open Water - gets you past less stringent, but sometimes annoying
industry rules on dive boat transportation to sites considered advanced.

Nitrox - gives you the understanding of the different risks and risk
controls involved in breathing something other than air.

Trimix - does the same for gases other than air or nitrox.

Everything else is skill, rather than knowledge based and skills, you can
get on your own . . . if you're careful.

Lee
Dr Yak - 07 Oct 2005 02:06 GMT
>>I wouldn't advise what you are suggesting, but I dove for several years
>>without any formal training or certification.
[quoted text clipped - 19 lines]
>
> Lee

I'll agree with most of what you say, but I did learn a thing or two
doing my rescue diver about cpr and pulling someone out out of the muck.
Limey - 07 Oct 2005 13:37 GMT
>> I wouldn't advise what you are suggesting, but I dove for several years
>> without any formal training or certification.
[quoted text clipped - 18 lines]
> Everything else is skill, rather than knowledge based and skills, you can
> get on your own . . . if you're careful.

Dammit, do you insist on me using those damn emoticons after *every* post I
make?
btw, for whoever knows....someone mentioned to me the other day that you
should be at least 'Advanced ow' before being able to obtain a Nitrox cert.
Anyone heard this? I'm sure it is agency specific but does anyone know
which, if any agencies preach this?

Cheers, Limey.
Doug Frederick - 07 Oct 2005 13:47 GMT
> btw, for whoever knows....someone mentioned to me the other day that you
> should be at least 'Advanced ow' before being able to obtain a Nitrox
> cert. Anyone heard this? I'm sure it is agency specific but does anyone
> know which, if any agencies preach this?

 IANTD and NAUI, at the very least, offer Nitrox in conjunction with OW.
CharGen - 07 Oct 2005 14:25 GMT
>> btw, for whoever knows....someone mentioned to me the other day that
>> you should be at least 'Advanced ow' before being able to obtain a
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
>   IANTD and NAUI, at the very least, offer Nitrox in conjunction with
>   OW.

I've seen PADI shops do the same.
Limey - 07 Oct 2005 15:26 GMT
>>> btw, for whoever knows....someone mentioned to me the other day that
>>> you should be at least 'Advanced ow' before being able to obtain a
[quoted text clipped - 5 lines]
>
> I've seen PADI shops do the same.

It was a PADI guy that mentioned it. That's why I'd like confirmation.

LD.
Limey - 07 Oct 2005 15:25 GMT
>> btw, for whoever knows....someone mentioned to me the other day that you
>> should be at least 'Advanced ow' before being able to obtain a Nitrox
>> cert. Anyone heard this? I'm sure it is agency specific but does anyone
>> know which, if any agencies preach this?
>
>  IANTD and NAUI, at the very least, offer Nitrox in conjunction with OW.

Yup, mine is TDI and I just showed OW too.

LD.
Doug Frederick - 07 Oct 2005 16:16 GMT
>>> btw, for whoever knows....someone mentioned to me the other day that you
>>> should be at least 'Advanced ow' before being able to obtain a Nitrox
[quoted text clipped - 6 lines]
>
> LD.
Doug Frederick - 07 Oct 2005 16:16 GMT
>>> btw, for whoever knows....someone mentioned to me the other day that you
>>> should be at least 'Advanced ow' before being able to obtain a Nitrox
[quoted text clipped - 4 lines]
>>
> Yup, mine is TDI and I just showed OW too.

 I mean -during- Open Water class.

> LD.
Limey - 07 Oct 2005 17:19 GMT
>>>> btw, for whoever knows....someone mentioned to me the other day that
>>>> you should be at least 'Advanced ow' before being able to obtain a
[quoted text clipped - 6 lines]
>
>  I mean -during- Open Water class.

Aaah, 'kay.
Lee Bell - 07 Oct 2005 16:01 GMT
> Dammit, do you insist on me using those damn emoticons after *every* post
> I make?

Not at all.  I got it.  It just reminded me of something I felt like saying.

> btw, for whoever knows....someone mentioned to me the other day that you
> should be at least 'Advanced ow' before being able to obtain a Nitrox
> cert. Anyone heard this? I'm sure it is agency specific but does anyone
> know which, if any agencies preach this?

I think it's been a normal progression for a while, but seems to me that
there is at least one agency, no I don't know which, that offers nitrox in
combination with the entry level course.  I could be mistaken.

Lee
Limey - 07 Oct 2005 17:20 GMT
>> Dammit, do you insist on me using those damn emoticons after *every* post
>> I make?
>
> Not at all.  I got it.  It just reminded me of something I felt like
> saying.

;0)

>> btw, for whoever knows....someone mentioned to me the other day that you
>> should be at least 'Advanced ow' before being able to obtain a Nitrox
[quoted text clipped - 4 lines]
> there is at least one agency, no I don't know which, that offers nitrox in
> combination with the entry level course.  I could be mistaken.

Thx.
mike gray - 06 Oct 2005 00:30 GMT
> 65 yrs old in excellant health--background in medicine--did lots of
> snokeling and build breathing valve from military b29 breathing  valve
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
> myself--maybe ask a few friends some basic questions--re
> equiptment--planning only shallow dives--maybe 15 max

Was that the AN-6004-1 Diluter-Demand Regulator (which required
carefully painting the paper diaphragm with several thin coats
of rubber cement to waterproof it) or the A-13 (AN-6022-1)?

Do you still have it?

> i recognize that this question must have been ask4ed a million times but
> have not found advice on it yet
>
> looked intio scuba school but got pissed at all the certifications etc

Yeah, they're a pain in the a.s, but yer best bet is to ante up
for the basic course.

> i am planning buying very basic but quality equiptment

You won't be able to do that until you have enough experience to
define, for your personal needs, what "very basic" and "quality"
really mean. In the meantime, rent or borrow.

> can i teach myself scuba diving by myself/--i have access to a pool

There's really nothing to it. Stick the second stage in yer
mouth and breath.

A lot like defending yerself in court.

But like I said above, pay up for the intro course. There's a
lot of nuances an instructor can help with. In addition, you get
a certification card which many vendors, tank fillers, dive
operators, etc require before they will do biz with you.

> problem at least here i sthat you need some sort of certification card
> to have your tanks filled---is this true or bs?

Yes and no. Depends on where you live, who you do business with,
whether yer tanks are shiny new like the diver or well used, etc

But the C-card is very handy.

> any pointers appreciated--remember i march to my own drummer and schools
> are now out of the question.

Go for the A-13 (AN-6022-1) low pressure regulator, use a pair
of 500 psi D-2 cylinders.

Make a full face mask from a surplus gas mask, a rubber-sheet
exhalation diaphragm replacing the original plastic diaphragm.

Wear the tank valve-down with the high pressure hose coming up
to the war-surplus regulator worn as high as possible on the chest.

Make yer weight belt from an army cartridge belt. (Pocketed
weight belts have again become popular, though olive drab has
been dropped as the color of choice.)

DoT requires periodic hydrostatic testing of pressure vessels.
This is easily handled with a ball peen hammer and a borrowed
set of stamps. (what we old guys used to call the “Hawaiian Hydro”.

And enjoy yerself.

m
Limey - 06 Oct 2005 01:56 GMT
> Make yer weight belt from an army cartridge belt. (Pocketed weight belts
> have again become popular, though olive drab has been dropped as the color
> of choice.)

You obviously haven't seen Popeye's latest backplate?

> DoT requires periodic hydrostatic testing of pressure vessels. This is
> easily handled with a ball peen hammer and a borrowed set of stamps. (what
> we old guys used to call the “Hawaiian Hydro”.

Hmmmm, been there, never had a fancy schmancy name like that fer it tho. ;)

> And enjoy yerself.

Muy importante.

LD.
ilaboo - 06 Oct 2005 13:47 GMT
mike

> Was that the AN-6004-1 Diluter-Demand Regulator (which required
> carefully painting the paper diaphragm with several thin coats of rubber
> cement to waterproof it) or the A-13 (AN-6022-1)?
>
> Do you still have it?

i wish idid--article was published in popular science many many years
ago-- i was about 8 years old--what you describe i believe was it

> i really appreciate your advise and sugestions--pia in that i cannot get
tanks filled here in new york city--looked in getting my own comressor
however

tia
peter
Lembo - 06 Oct 2005 01:01 GMT
> 65 yrs old in excellant health--background in medicine--did lots of
> snokeling and build breathing valve from military b29 breathing  valve
[quoted text clipped - 18 lines]
> any pointers appreciated--remember i march to my own drummer and schools
> are now out of the question

Jammer..is that you ?
chilly - 06 Oct 2005 02:29 GMT
>> > are now out of the question
>
> Jammer..is that you ?

ROFL
Doug Frederick - 06 Oct 2005 04:43 GMT
<snip crack manifesto>

> any pointers appreciated--remember i march to my own drummer and schools
> are now out of the question

 Let me put this gently...

 Nobody gives a f.ck about your drummer, and if schools are out, you're too
stupid to scuba dive.

 Welcome to Rec.scuba, -a.shole-.

 Was there anything else?
ilaboo - 06 Oct 2005 13:52 GMT
Doug
i come from a world if you had something to say to someone you said it
to their face

got anything to say to me?
Doug Frederick - 06 Oct 2005 15:01 GMT
> Doug
> i come from a world if you had something to say to someone you said it to
> their face
>
> got anything to say to me?

 <snicker>

 Yes, your initial attitude was childish, ignorant, pompous and rediculous,
and you were well on the way to killing yourself ,very needlessly, because
of your arrogance.

 You've since made improvements, hence my second and more reasonable reply.

 This post is better yet.

 www.finalprotectivefire.com

I'm not in the habit of being shy about telling people things to their
face, and am well known, personally, by almost 80 regular members here.


mike gray - 06 Oct 2005 21:50 GMT
>  
>
[quoted text clipped - 20 lines]
>
>  

79 of whom know yer just a fuzzy pink teddy bear.
Doug Frederick - 06 Oct 2005 21:56 GMT
>>>Doug
>>>i come from a world if you had something to say to someone you said it to
[quoted text clipped - 19 lines]
>>
> 79 of whom know yer just a fuzzy pink teddy bear.

 Shhhhh.

 You'll ruin my intimidating appearance.
cavey_curtis@$$ yahoo.com - 07 Oct 2005 03:33 GMT
>> 79 of whom know yer just a fuzzy pink teddy bear.
>
>  Shhhhh.
>
>  You'll ruin my intimidating appearance.

   79 of them probably still fear the "bear hug", one enough to try and
lift you first.   :-)

Curtis
mike gray - 07 Oct 2005 04:40 GMT
"Magilla" wrote:
>  
>
[quoted text clipped - 8 lines]
>
> Curtis

Yeah, yer #80.
Whistler - 07 Oct 2005 05:57 GMT
"Magilla" wrote:

>>>79 of whom know yer just a fuzzy pink teddy bear.
>>
[quoted text clipped - 6 lines]
>
> Curtis

78.  It's the kissing that scares me.
cavey_curtis@$$ yahoo.com - 07 Oct 2005 11:55 GMT
>>     79 of them probably still fear the "bear hug", one enough to try and
>> lift you first.   :-)

> 78.

   Ah. brotherhood of the bears

> It's the kissing that scares me.

   Reckon that one's an intact 80.

Curtis
Limey - 07 Oct 2005 13:40 GMT
>>> 79 of whom know yer just a fuzzy pink teddy bear.
>>
[quoted text clipped - 4 lines]
>    79 of them probably still fear the "bear hug", one enough to try and
> lift you first.   :-)

Hey! That was supposed to be thrown into the vault of 'Truck Secrecy'.

LD.
Whistler - 07 Oct 2005 05:56 GMT
> 79 of whom know yer just a fuzzy pink teddy bear.

Pink?  He was white when I left, I swear.
Greg Mossman - 07 Oct 2005 17:17 GMT
>> 79 of whom know yer just a fuzzy pink teddy bear.
>
> Pink?  He was white when I left, I swear.

He passed out in the wrong laundry basket.
cavey_curtis@$$ yahoo.com - 07 Oct 2005 03:37 GMT
> Doug
> i come from a world if you had something to say to someone you said it to
> their face
>
> got anything to say to me?

   Respectfully, I think he and Chilly both did.

   Sometimes you take notice faster when the fluff is removed and you get a
straight, honest answer.

   Welcome to rec scuba.

Curtis
Limey - 07 Oct 2005 13:39 GMT
> Doug
> i come from a world if you had something to say to someone you said it to
> their face
>
> got anything to say to me?

Oh boy! Ever heard of Google? Ever used it? You might wanna give it a shot.

LD.
H Huntzinger - 08 Oct 2005 12:52 GMT
> > Doug
> > i come from a world if you had something to say to someone you said it to
[quoted text clipped - 4 lines]
> Oh boy! Ever heard of Google? Ever used it? You might wanna give it a shot.
>  

Here's the Ginsu Queen story for ilaboo to grok:

http://groups.google.com/group/rec.scuba/msg/53d139893e77c641

-hh
Doug Frederick - 08 Oct 2005 14:00 GMT
>> > Doug
>> > i come from a world if you had something to say to someone you said it
[quoted text clipped - 9 lines]
>
> http://groups.google.com/group/rec.scuba/msg/53d139893e77c641

 Limey Dave was after it, too.

> -hh
Joe English - 08 Oct 2005 14:17 GMT
>>>>Doug
>>>>i come from a world if you had something to say to someone you said it
[quoted text clipped - 7 lines]
>>
>>Here's the Ginsu Queen story for ilaboo to  

<snipped>

I enjoy it everytime I read it !
Limey - 13 Oct 2005 16:36 GMT
>>> > Doug
>>> > i come from a world if you had something to say to someone you said it
[quoted text clipped - 11 lines]
>
>  Limey Dave was after it, too.

Got it, remember it.
Next visit?  Winter's a comin'.

LD.
Douglas W. - 13 Oct 2005 17:16 GMT
> Next visit?  Winter's a comin'.

 There no winter where you live...
Limey - 13 Oct 2005 17:29 GMT
>> Next visit?  Winter's a comin'.
>
>  There no winter where you live...

There is. It's the time of year where I show up and entertain the
locals.....while you're out diving.

LD.
Lee Bell - 13 Oct 2005 23:10 GMT
Popeye wrote:

>> Next visit?  Winter's a comin'.

>  There no winter where you live...

Sure there is.  It gets below 50 degrees pretty much every year.
Greg Mossman - 14 Oct 2005 03:01 GMT
> Popeye wrote:
>
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
>
> Sure there is.  It gets below 50 degrees pretty much every year.

I hope not.  Hit 90 today, though lows have hit mid-50s.  Maybe I need to
live in Florida.
Lee Bell - 14 Oct 2005 12:40 GMT
>>>> Next visit?  Winter's a comin'.
>>
[quoted text clipped - 4 lines]
> I hope not.  Hit 90 today, though lows have hit mid-50s.  Maybe I need to
> live in Florida.

That's why it's "Winter's a comin'."  It's not here yet.
If you're going to move, you'll have to buy some guns.
Limey - 13 Oct 2005 16:36 GMT
>> > Doug
>> > i come from a world if you had something to say to someone you said it
[quoted text clipped - 9 lines]
>
> http://groups.google.com/group/rec.scuba/msg/53d139893e77c641

Ah yes, I remember reading that before. Thanks.

LD.
Dillon Pyron - 08 Oct 2005 04:59 GMT
>Doug
>i come from a world if you had something to say to someone you said it
>to their face
>
>got anything to say to me?

oh god, this is going to be good.

Signature

dillon

Anyone who says grown men don't cry has never
taken a differential equations final.

mike gray - 06 Oct 2005 21:47 GMT
>  
>
[quoted text clipped - 11 lines]
>
>   Was there anything else?

It's yer sweet demeanor that endears ya to me.
Doug Frederick - 06 Oct 2005 21:55 GMT
>> <snip crack manifesto>
>>
[quoted text clipped - 10 lines]
>>   Was there anything else?
> It's yer sweet demeanor that endears ya to me.

 I apologized, sort of.

 More than usual, anyway... :-)
Grumman-581 - 06 Oct 2005 06:42 GMT
> any pointers appreciated--remember i march to my own drummer and schools
> are now out of the question

http://www.geocities.com/grumman581/scuba-certification.htm
Lee Bell - 06 Oct 2005 09:31 GMT
> 65 yrs old in excellant health--background in medicine--did lots of
> snokeling and build breathing valve from military b29 breathing  valve
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
> myself--maybe ask a few friends some basic questions--re
> equiptment--planning only shallow dives--maybe 15 max

Bad idea on a couple of levels.  From a safety perspective, you stand a
chance of missing something important until after you've suffered the
consequences.  Some diving mistakes lead directly to death.  The risk of one
of the most deadly accidents, is greatest from 15 feet to the surface.  From
a practical perspective, the industry can make it very hard for you to buy
equipment or get air fills unless you have at least the basic card.

I suggest you find an instructor you like and earn a basic certification,
usually called Open Water or Open Water I.  You don't need anything more,
but without evidence of at least that much training, your diving future will
be full of hassels.

> can i teach myself scuba diving by myself/--i have access to a pool

Sort of.  You can learn with only a little help from somebody that knows how
the equipment works and how to use it.  I could probably provide the basics
in less than an hour.  Learning to use it well is simply a matter of
practice.  It's important to understand, however, that most of the critical
training divers receive deals with the physics of diving including gas laws
and how to avoid the pitfalls that comes with them.

> problem at least here i sthat you need some sort of certification card to
> have your tanks filled---is this true or bs?

It's true because it's an industry standard.  It's BS because the standard
grew from a combination of greed (more revenue for the shops and the
training agency the affiliate with) and fear (reduced liability).

Regardless, there were certification courses before the standard was
developed because there were things divers needed to know before the shops
got greedy and scared.

> any pointers appreciated--remember i march to my own drummer and schools
> are now out of the question

So pay for some one on one instruction or get some of your friends together
to share the cost of a small group course.  Hell, tell the people here what
part of the country you live in and one of us might volunteer to teach you
for free.  There are options to the traditional class that will get you
where you want to go.

If, however, any of the options are out of the question for you, then diving
probably is too.  Sorry, but that's pretty much how it is.

Lee
ilaboo - 06 Oct 2005 13:51 GMT
thanks for all of your suggestions

will take basic course

but kind of sad that it's such a hassle--most advances in technology
came from people just playing around

tia

peter
Doug Frederick - 06 Oct 2005 14:53 GMT
> thanks for all of your suggestions
>
[quoted text clipped - 6 lines]
>
> peter

 I took a three day course in Florida.

 It was pretty painless.

 And pretty cheap, $105.
Froggy - 06 Oct 2005 17:07 GMT
ilaboo a écrit :

> thanks for all of your suggestions
>
> will take basic course
>
> but kind of sad that it's such a hassle--most advances in technology
> came from people just playing around

Well, it's not really a hassle if you have some time and money to
spare, you can go and do it in a nice place.

A couple lessons and some reading (on the beach), a few introductory
dives (which can actually be enjoyable if done in a nice place) et
voila, no more hassles, you are ready to dive for the rest of your
stay.

Then you'll be free to play around, at a much reduced risk.

If all you want is an introduction and a C-card, you'll want to go with
the certification agency that has the easiest process.

Cheers,

Froggy
Lee Bell - 06 Oct 2005 20:12 GMT
It need not be a particular hassel.  Find an instructor you like that
you think will make the course interesting.

Scuba is like all those other things that developed over the years.
Sure, it was by trial and error, but quite a few of those errors proved
fatal.  Better to let somebody else have the experienced that you learn
from.

Lee
Dillon Pyron - 08 Oct 2005 05:02 GMT
>thanks for all of your suggestions
>
>will take basic course
>
>but kind of sad that it's such a hassle--most advances in technology
>came from people just playing around

Most playing around won't get you killed if you make a minor mistake.

I didn't say screw the FAA, I can fly that sucker.

>tia
>
>peter
Signature

dillon

Anyone who says grown men don't cry has never
taken a differential equations final.

Limey - 13 Oct 2005 16:56 GMT
> I didn't say screw the FAA, I can fly that sucker.

A bit long, but it has most of the elements......

> I am writing to you, because I need your help to get me bloody pilot's

> license back. You keep telling me you got all the right contacts.

> Well, now's your chance to make something happen for me because, mate,

> I'm

bloody

> desperate. But first, I'd better tell you what happened during my last

> flight review with the CAA Examiner.

> On the phone, Ron (that's the CAA d@#$head) seemed a reasonable sort

> of bloke. He politely reminded me of the need to do a flight review

> every two years. He even offered to drive out, have a look over my

> property and let

me

> operate from my own strip. Naturally I agreed to that.

> Anyway, Ron turned up last Wednesday. First up, he said he was a bit

> surprised to see the plane on a small strip outside my homestead,

> because the ALA (Authorized Landing Area) is about a mile away. I

> explained that because this strip was so close to the homestead, it

> was more convenient than the ALA; and despite the power lines crossing

> about midway down the strip it's really not a problem to land and

> takeoff, because at the

halfway

> point down the strip you're usually still on the ground.

> For some reason Ron seemed nervous. So, although I had done the

> preflight inspection only four days earlier, I decided to do it all

> over again.

> Because the pr@#$ was watching me carefully, I walked around the plane

three

> times instead of my usual two.

> My effort was rewarded because the color finally returned to Ron's

> cheeks.

> In fact, they went a bright red. In view of Ron's obviously better

> mood, I told him I was going to combine the test flight with some farm

> work, as I had to deliver three poddy calves from the home paddock to

> the main herd. After a bit of a chase I finally caught the calves and

> threw them into the back of the ol' Cessna 172. We climbed aboard,

> but Ron started gettin'

onto

> me about weight and balance calculations and all that crap. Of course

> I knew that sort of thing was a waste of time because, calves like to

> move around a bit particularly when they see themselves 500 feet off

> the

ground!

> So, its bloody pointless trying to secure them as you know. However,

> I

did

> tell Ron that he shouldn't worry as I always keep the trim wheel set

> on neutral to ensure we remain pretty stable at all stages throughout

> the flight.

> Anyway, I started the engine and cleverly minimized the warm-up time

> by tramping hard on the brakes and gunning her to 2,500 rpm. I then

discovered

> that Ron has very acute hearing, even though he was wearing a bloody

> headset. Through all that noise he detected a metallic rattle and

> demanded

I

> account for it. Actually it began about a month ago and was caused by

> a screwdriver that fell down a hole in the floor and lodged in the

> fuel selector mechanism. The selector can't be moved now, but it

> doesn't matter because it's jammed on 'All tanks', so I suppose that's

> okay.

> However, as Ron was obviously a real nit-picker, I blamed the noise on

> vibration from a stainless steel thermos flask, which I keep in a

> beaut little possie between the windshield and the magnetic compass.

> My explanation seemed to relax Ron, because he slumped back in the

> seat and kept looking up at the cockpit roof. I released the brakes to

> taxi out,

but

> unfortunately the plane gave a leap and spun to the right. "Hell" I

thought,

> "not the starboard wheel chock again." The bump jolted Ron back to

> full alertness. He looked wildly around just in time to see a rock

> thrown by

the

> prop wash disappear completely through the windscreen of his brand new

> Commodore. "Now I'm really in trouble," I thought.

> While Ron was busy ranting about his car, I ignored his requirement

> that

we

> taxi to the ALA, and instead took off under the power lines. Ron

> didn't

say

> a word, at least not until the engine started coughing right at the

> lift

off

> point, then he bloody screamed his head off. "Oh God! Oh God! Oh

> God!"

> "Now take it easy, Ron" I told him firmly. "That often happens on

> takeoff and there is a good reason for it." I explained patiently

> that I usually run the plane on standard MOGAS, but one day I

> accidentally put in a

gallon

> or two of kerosene. To compensate for the low octane of the kerosene,

> I siphoned in a few gallons off super MOGAS and shook the wings up and

> down

a

> few times to mix it up. Since then, the engine has been coughing a bit

> but in general it works just fine, if you know how to coax it

> properly.

> Anyway, at this stage Ron seemed to lose all interest in my flight

> test.

He

> pulled out some rosary beads, closed his eyes and became lost in

> prayer.

(I

> didn't think anyone was a Catholic these days.) I selected some nice

> music on the HF radio to help him relax.

> Meanwhile, I climbed to my normal cruising altitude of 10,500 feet. I

don't

> normally put in a flight plan or get the weather because, as you know

> getting Fax access out here is a friggin' joke and the bloody weather

> is always 8/8 blue anyway. But since I had that near miss with a Saab

> 340, I might have to change me thinking on that. Anyhow, on leveling

> out I

noticed

> some wild camels heading into my improved pasture. I hate bloody

> camels,

and

> always carry a loaded 303 clipped inside the door of the Cessna just

> in

case

> I see any of the bastards.

> We were too high to hit them, but as a matter of principle, I decided

> to have a go through the open window. Mate, when I pulled the bloody

> rifle

out,

> the effect on Ron was friggin' electric. As I fired the first shot his

neck

> lengthened by about six inches and his eyes bulged like a rabbit with

myxo.

> He really looked as if he had been jabbed with an electric cattle prod

> on full power. In fact, Ron's reaction was so distracting that I lost

> concentration for a second and the next shot went straight through the

port

> tyre. Ron was a bit upset about the shooting (probably one of those

> pinko animal lovers I guess) so I decided not to tell him about our

> little

problem

> with the tyre.

> Shortly afterwards I located the main herd and decided to do my

> fighter pilot trick.

> Ron had gone back to praying when, in one smooth sequence, I pulled on

full

> flaps, cut the power and started a sideslip from 10,500 feet down to

> 500 feet at 130 knots indicated (the last time I looked anyway) and

> the little needle rushing up to the red area on me ASI. What a buzz,

> mate! About halfway through the descent I looked back in the cabin to

> see the calves gracefully suspended in mid air and mooing like crazy.

> I was going to comment on this unusual sight, but Ron looked a bit

> green and had rolled himself into the fetal position and was screamin'

> his freakin' head off. Mate, talk about being in a bloody zoo. You

> should've been there, it was

so

> bloody funny!!

> At about 500 feet I leveled out, but for some reason we continued

> sinking.

> When we reached 50 feet I applied full power but nothin' happened; no

noise

> no nothin'. Then, luckily, I heard me instructor's voice in me head

> saying "carby heat, carby heat". So I pulled carby heat on and that

> helped quite

a

> lot, with the engine finally regaining full power. Whew, that was

> really close, let me tell you!

> Then mate, you'll never guess what happened next! As luck would have

> it,

at

> that height we flew into a massive dust cloud caused by the cattle and

> suddenly went I.F. bloody R, mate. BJ, you would've been bloody proud

> of

me

> as I didn't panic once, not once, but I did make a mental note to

> consider an instrument rating as soon as me gyro is repaired

> (Something I've been meaning to do for a while now).

> Suddenly Ron's elongated neck and bulging eyes reappeared. His mouth

opened

> wide, very wide, ! but no sound emerged. "Take it easy," I told him.

> "we'll be out of this in a minute." Sure enough, about a minute later

> we emerge; still straight and level and still at 50 feet.

> Admittedly I was surprised to notice that we were upside down, and I

> kept thinking to myself, "I hope Ron didn't notice that I had

> forgotten to set the QNH when we were taxiing." This minor

> tribulation forced me to fly to

a

> nearby valley in which I had to do a half roll to get upright again.

> By now the main herd had divided into two groups leaving a narrow

> strip between them. "Ah!" I thought, "there's an omen. We'll land

> right there."

> Knowing that the tyre problem demanded a slow approach, I flew a

> couple of steep turns with full flap. Soon the stall warning horn was

> blaring so

loud

> in me ear that I cut its circuit breaker to shut it up, but by then I

> knew we were slow enough anyway. I turned steeply onto a 75 foot final

> and put her down with a real thud. Strangely enough, I had always

> thought you

could

> only ground loop in a tail dragger but, as usual, I was proved wrong

again!

> Halfway through our third loop, Ron at last recovered his sense of

> humour.

> Talk about laugh. I've never seen the likes of it. He couldn't stop.

> We finally rolled to a halt and I released the calves, who bolted out

> of the aircraft like there was no tomorrow.

> I then began picking clumps of dry grass. Between gut wrenching fits

> of laughter, Ron asked what I was doing. I explained that we had to

> stuff the port tyre with grass so we could fly back to the homestead.

> It was then

that

> Ron really lost the plot and started running away from the aircraft.

> Can you believe it? The last time I saw him he was off into the

> distance, arms flailing in the air and still shrieking with laughter.

> I later heard that

he

> had been confined to a psychiatric institution - poor bugger!

> Anyhow, mate, that's enough about Ron. The problem is! I just got a

> letter from CAA withdrawing, as they put it, my privileges to fly;

> until I have undergone a complete pilot training course again and

> undertaken another flight proficiency test. Now I admit that I made a

> mistake in taxiing over the wheel chock and not setting the QNH using

> strip elevation, but I can't see what else I did that was so bloody

> bad that they have to withdraw me flamin' license. Can you?

LD.
Marshall Karp - 06 Oct 2005 15:24 GMT
Wise choice ilaboo, was hoping you would see the light.  Good luck to you
and enjoy.

Some of you in this group may have been responsible for saving this person's
life.

> 65 yrs old in excellant health--background in medicine--did lots of
> snokeling and build breathing valve from military b29 breathing  valve
[quoted text clipped - 18 lines]
> any pointers appreciated--remember i march to my own drummer and schools
> are now out of the question
Limey - 07 Oct 2005 13:44 GMT
> Wise choice ilaboo, was hoping you would see the light.  Good luck to you
> and enjoy.
>
> Some of you in this group may have been responsible for saving this
> person's life.

Out of teaching yerself to dive, and blindly offering Popeye to say
something mean to his face......I don't think we need to worry about him
killing himself while diving.

LD.
 
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