Just as Doug thinks your question is too broad, I think it's easy.

You're looking at recreational diving, pretty pure and simple.  High
performance regulators are OK, but pretty much any quality regulator will
meet your needs.   The same thing is, more or less, true for a BCD.  While I
encourage you to try a plate and wing or other back inflation system, any
quality BCD will work fine for the diving you describe.

So, on the the actual choices.  I can't help you.  8^)  Actually, I probably
can help, but I can't tell you what to get, only how to chose and some of
what to look for.  I suggest you rent first.  Try everything you can find in
your area.  Try side exhaust regulators, small second stage regulators and
standard ones.  Concentrate on names you know.  If you don't know the names,
find the Rodales site and look for their tests.  Take the tests with a grain
of salt, but remember the names.  Try them horizontal, on your back, head up
and head down.  Pay particular attention to how easily the regulators
breathe and whether water gets in them when you're in unusual positions.
Take the regulators out of your mouth quickly and see which ones free flow.
If they do, and they don't have an adjustment that will prevent it, buy
something else.

For BCDs, try a plate and wings or other back inflation system.  For travel,
the Dive Rite Trans Pak is pretty nice.  It's light and folds to a compact
size for travel.  Pay attention to how each BCD or system feels and what
your trim is like.  If your trim is just right, you should be able to stop
in a horizontal position, with no kicking at all, and not turn head up and
feet down.  Also pay a lot of attention to conveniences, pockets if you
care, the location of D rings and attachment points for sure, and how stable
the system holds the tank.  The best ones keep it very much in place.  The
worst let it move around a lot.

Finally, pay attention to what can be serviced in your area and read the
warranty on any regulator you think about buying.  Several brands offer free
parts for annual service, something that may save you as much as $50 a year.
Most require annual servicing to keep warranties active.  Very few, if any,
transfer a warranty to a second buyer.

When you think you know what you want, buy it, but not before . . . or you
can buy something expensive now and, later, find out that you want something
very different . . . just like most of the rest of us did.

Lee