California is hand only, no tickle sticks, snares, spears, or bangsticks
allowed.  I've tried hypnosis but the bastards got to me first with their
spinning feelers and made me think I was a little mermaid.

The law only says how many you can take and how you can take them.  I'm not
sure that there's a law against simply shooting them for pleasure.

I think that in the northeast,
using a spear or bangstick would be very illegal.

as well as not very sporting...

First, let's nip this in the bud.

DF, regardless of if this did or didn't happen here, as a newbie to the
group, you can get a free pass the first time, under the understanding
that you won't let it happen again in the future:  what you need to be
aware of is that there's little patience here for tolerating habitual
liars and the pissing contests that can ensue.

If you don't like that, well there's plenty of other scuba discussion
groups from which you can be happier at to go chat and learn in.  The
one that's probably just right for you is:  http://www.scubaboard.com  

Jim volunteered for an experimental scuba diving study (one that didn't
include any bears).  He got hurt ("got bent" - aka DCS) and IIRC, the
experimental research was suspended.  It was found that Jim had a
medical condition known as PFO (Patent Forman Ovale), which has
generally been considered to be not too big of a deal for the general
public, but "not a good thing" for divers for several years now,
although I don't believe that the actual change in risk was well
quantified back in 2000 when this happened.

This is an extreme oversimplification of what's been studied, but in
short, PFO's are generally believed to be present in roughly 20% of the
adult population, but when you look at divers who have gotten bent, a
PFO is present around twice as often as it should have been if it was
purely random.  The general conclusion is that having a PFO somehow
contributes to the risk of getting DCS.  

IIRC, the current medical theory being that the lungs act as "bubble
filters" that protect the body some from DCS, but the PFO allows some of
the circulating blood to cross the heart and thus bypass the lungs and
thus not all get filtered.  There's a lot that can be read on the
subject of PFO's and Scuba diving, if that's your thing.  

But overall, a self-proclaimed scuba newbie such as yourself should be
okay for awhile, partly because you're probably not pushing limits and
because the new dive computers are more conservative than older ones.  
Unless, of course, you're using some old "hand me down" equipment or
stuff from EBay.  If your gear isn't all new, it would be a good idea
for you to list it here so that you can get some advice from the
regulars on what's good, and what's not...and even what's been recalled
for safety defects!

-hh